This is my story. I have to write it. I want to write it. If I don’t write it, I’ll get more confused.
It might be my intuitions speaking but yeah, they say out loud in my ears that
my life would automatically straighten up a bit, once I start writing it. More
than half of the time my intuitions prove to be wrong; maybe its more like
expectations than intuitions. I hope it doesn’t fail me, this time. Again.
M a going to be adult travelling in a train to Kerala with a
big fucked up life. When I say fucked up, it doesn’t really mean that it is
fucked up, because m too privileged to understand what really fucked up means.
But again in my perspective its more than fucked up. I am the arrogant,
ignorant, irresponsible….. my mom just called me asking that whether I took a
picture of mine which was stuck in the altar, and she was upset coz I took it
without asking her. I travelling was somewhere in the black hole of her head.
Maybe. And there goes my phone on flight
mode. So that there is peace; which is almost a non- existent thing in a
average person’s life, non- existent at least for me for time being.
A transgender just crossed by. Actually she looked beautiful
with all those golden strands of Hair shining amongst the dull brown ones, and
beautiful peach pajamas. Sometimes I think that we humans have constricted the
gender roles and their identity in HE and SHE soooo much that I don’t know what to call her. She
looked more feminine so I prefer calling her her. But again who am I to decide
what chareteristics define the feminity or masculinity of a human being? Its
again the conventions set by the society, followed by the society.
So then I watched flash series. I slept I guess. Next day I
didn’t feel like writing, I don’t know why. Neither did I have much charge on
my laptop and my phone. As soon as I woke up I went to the charging point and
had to stand there for like one and a half hours to get 57% of charge. I read
the kite runner. Meanwhile some mallu guys tried hitting on me. Some random
kids passed by and as usual I showed my funny face to make them smile. Again
some transgenders passed by. And when they saw me reading intensely sitting in
the corner, they smiled and waved at me. Felt good. Again I don’t know why. I
started reading the “and then there were none”. I slept a lot. I ate a lot. I Drank
a lot. But Thought a little.
