unknown title

This is my story. I have to write it. I want to write it.  If I don’t write it, I’ll get more confused. It might be my intuitions speaking but yeah, they say out loud in my ears that my life would automatically straighten up a bit, once I start writing it. More than half of the time my intuitions prove to be wrong; maybe its more like expectations than intuitions. I hope it doesn’t fail me, this time. Again.

M a going to be adult travelling in a train to Kerala with a big fucked up life. When I say fucked up, it doesn’t really mean that it is fucked up, because m too privileged to understand what really fucked up means. But again in my perspective its more than fucked up. I am the arrogant, ignorant, irresponsible….. my mom just called me asking that whether I took a picture of mine which was stuck in the altar, and she was upset coz I took it without asking her. I travelling was somewhere in the black hole of her head. Maybe.  And there goes my phone on flight mode. So that there is peace; which is almost a non- existent thing in a average person’s life, non- existent at least for me for time being.

A transgender just crossed by. Actually she looked beautiful with all those golden strands of Hair shining amongst the dull brown ones, and beautiful peach pajamas. Sometimes I think that we humans have constricted the gender roles and their identity in HE and SHE soooo much  that I don’t know what to call her. She looked more feminine so I prefer calling her her. But again who am I to decide what chareteristics define the feminity or masculinity of a human being? Its again the conventions set by the society, followed by the society.

So then I watched flash series. I slept I guess. Next day I didn’t feel like writing, I don’t know why. Neither did I have much charge on my laptop and my phone. As soon as I woke up I went to the charging point and had to stand there for like one and a half hours to get 57% of charge. I read the kite runner. Meanwhile some mallu guys tried hitting on me. Some random kids passed by and as usual I showed my funny face to make them smile. Again some transgenders passed by. And when they saw me reading intensely sitting in the corner, they smiled and waved at me. Felt good. Again I don’t know why. I started reading the “and then there were none”. I slept a lot. I ate a lot. I Drank a lot. But Thought a little.

#EQUALITY#

When a girl exposes her body, she is wrong!
She is wrong because she showed her body to tempt others,
She is wrong because she aroused sexual desires in the opposite sex,
She is wrong because, the things which should be covered, should remain covered!
But when a guy exposes his body, he is alright!
He is right because he can show his body,
He is right because he didn't arouse any sexual desires in the opposite sex,
He is right because he has nothing to keep covered!
Then let me ask, what are the two brown dots on his chest?? Isn't that vulgar if that's what you were saying earlier?
He can show his bare chest because he was feeling so, but she can't show her chest if she feels so because she tempts others with the most sacred part of her body which nurtures the bodies of these dirty minded people in their infancy who grow up to think that the same sacred part of her body is offensive. We are not offended when religious texts refer to sex, nakedness... But uttering a word about it is considered sinful.. Which epitome of Hypocrisy do we have to reach??No Matter if  its the girl or the boy who walks naked down the street, she or he is not to be touched, molested or raped! Because they are humans too, so are we!
Who are you to judge him/her right or wrong.. if a sight makes you uncomfortable.. You need to find solutions for that.. rather than just blaming the other person.
Choosing to remaining ignorant is sinful, not the exposing of the body. Remember..

Hypocrisy..

People insult and make fun of a girl for removing her t-shirt and showing her breasts as she hit a goal..
Goes viral...
Is trolled...
When asked, what if she was your sister, people get pissed off, angry and yell..
Why are we such HYPOCRITES???
She is also someone's daughter, sister, wife and mother...
Would you do this to your loved ones?? No, right.! Then why with her.. why why why??!!!
Am I wrong for raising voice against this hypocrisy? Or are they?or is it someone else??

The Red Signal

"Hey, catch this ball", I said to him... I need to check on my friends... I ran to a group of tensed teenagers, who were supposed to be in action during the weekly games period...
"Kya hua?" I asked ..
"Arey Payal ko dates aa gaye!" One them said... And I had no idea what they were talking about. After a lot of questions and discussions I understood one thing that it's some blood flowing out of your body... And it's not normal... That indeed was a curious day for me..
Many young teenage girls share such kind of stories especially in India, as they aren't aware of their own body and I think it would be more appropriate to say that they aren't made aware of... Then there's this other day at school we girls are taken separately to be given classes about the great change in their life... The physical change of a girl to a woman..
According to Google, menstruation is "the REGULAR discharge of blood and mucosal tissue from the inner lining of the mucus through vagina."
Again I strongly emphasise on the word "REGULAR"... Can we Indians really accept this word for the process called menstruation?? Can we accept the fact that we still make our girl child live in the world of stigma and shame because of the most important change in her life? Can we accept the fact that we traumatize the Laxmis and Durgas who bleed so that in future they bear the fruit of next generation?? Can we accept the fact that we don't take them to temples and keep them away from all the basic rights without knowing the scientific facts behind it?? Can we accept the fact that we are ignorant and hypocritical human beings? No! We don't! Instead we make everyone feel that a girl menstruating is the weirdest thing to happen and are even very uncomfortable and ashamed to talk about it. We are given certain illogical explanations to cover it up..

 "Human beings fear things, which they don't understand" And this fear leads to create the stereotypes and stigma among everyone in the society... The day people stop  being ignorant and start to accept changes; the real and true changes, that day the mankind would be saved... Because change is the rule of the universe....

MASkeD

I really respect the guy who loves you, they say.
Can't imagine how he does so..!
You are so hard to be loved
I think u should never love anyone
Insensitive u seem to be!
Rude you are!
If i was in his place i wouldn't look at your face for the second time.. not atleast for few weeks.

But who knows that i also go through emotional swings which I should be atleast considered for..
You must imagine how i feel so..
I quite easily fall for even fake love
I think I should never let anyone love me to end up scarred all over again
So sensitive i am
Rudeness is a curtain on my insecurities and frustrations..
If you were in my shoes you wouldn't forgive others who changed you into someone who can't forgive herself...
And would have gave up long before the dusk..