Overthinkingness.

It's ironic and pathetic at the same time to have known and seen different faces and phases of love, that now I'm unable to recognise which of them was true or fake, reality or a delusion, bad or good, right or wrong....
I got so lost in those faces, phases, colours and designs of love, that all the memories and theories of it started feeling like a dream, all unreal.
And I realised that  we spend all of our lives discovering, differentiating between, inventing intriguing concepts about the lie and truth, hate and love and everything else which has ever marked it's presence in this universe so much, that we knowingly or unknowingly get entangled in that journey...
A journey where at the end of our destiny and destination stands the Angel of Death, humbly smiling, ready to kiss and embrace us into oblivion like no one else....
Maybe that's love.
Unconditional love.

Him & I

Why does it bother me? Each time her face flashes in front of me, I am all overwhelmed. But why? She was there for him, when I wasn't. She took care of him, when I didn't. She loved him, when I coilcoul even love myself.
Am I jealous?
No, I'm not.
Am I insecure?
Maybe.
But that isn't the core of this entangling, overwhelming emotion.
Maybe it's the possessiveness. Maybe it's the feeling that I own him and only I can be there for him, no one else.
Is this feeling right?
No, it isn't.
I don't own him. I don't own anyone. Even if I do own anything in this universe, it's just myself.
And I have to own it.
I will.
I will let him go.

Let go..

Both loved each other.
Both got seperated from each other.
Both couldn't let go off each other.
But both must have been founded by peaceful humans,
who loved them Unconditionally.
Both must have relied upon those humans to help themselves let go off each other,
And thought, one day both will,
And one day both did.

Insomnia

You're just too afraid to sleep every night,
Too afraid to close your eyes
Too afraid to embrace and sink into the darkness's arms
Too afraid to face the tiny ray of next day's sunshine
Still you switch off the lights
Still you reckon the night's monsters
Still you leave the door just quite open
Still you just breathe enough, eyes closed
To face all the rays of next day's sunshine.

Accusations.

Today I was accused of having a questionable and doubtful character by one of my female friends and her boyfriend. And all because I travel at night out of town because I have to go long distance for my NGO works or other professional works or just to meet my loved ones, because I have a lot of guy friends, because i chose to date ( some jerks), because I am frank and straightforward, beacuse I stand up for what I think is being going wrong and above all because I am a woman. I should be tamed, polite(just coz M a woman), soft-spoken, listen to what your male friends, colleagues or any man/woman of this society tells you to do. I shouldn't be back answering them or anyone because I am a woman. Women are not meant to be like this. And if any woman is like that then she is of questionable character, she is polluting the mind of others too. She's a slut, a prostitute, a cunning person. I did cry at first because it really hurt me for blaming me for the things I haven't done. But I later realised that I should feel sad and pity for them. I should be compassionate to them for having such a mindset. How frustrated they might be from their own hypocrisy. And I also realised that I don't need to care, no matter if am called a slut or a prostitute because they are human beings too (with some emotional and other problems). As long as I don't become less humane to others, I need not care what they say. I do want to smile at them though... And wait for Karma to get back to them. For their good.